Almost the end of 2025

 2025 has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I know Allah promise something good after the trials and tribulations..and I guess I should be grateful for these trials that Allah has gifted so much for me and my family this year.

Oh, I haven't introduced Asmaa Najdah to you my dear blog. She's the apple of my eyes now. Her angelic yet cheeky smiles never fail to soothe my broken heart, my endless exhaustion. There are some internal conflicts that I need to resolve on my own (something that is caused by my own doings), and it drains me emotionally. I learn to have gaps with my colleagues and even sometimes with my own siblings for I fear that communicating with them would leave me heartbroken. It is suffocating, and lonely at times, but I believe it is for the better. 

And Allah has gifted me Asmaa, who turns 2 this year. Alhamdulillah that my pregnancy went well throughout 2023. I delivered her early, on my 37th weeks - a week after sending Wawan to PreGermany YTP Programme in GMI. The day I delivered her was actually a travelling day. We (DH,me, Wawan n Shakir) visited Yaya on the 12th and we stayed the night there. That morning, after having our breakfast in Raub, we travelled back to Selangor, and my husband stopped at Melawati Mall to buy some hostel stuffs for Wawan. I slept throughout the journey from Raub and the moment I stepped out of the car at Melawati Mall carpark, my water broke. We quickly went to Aurelius (luckily we're already in Selangor) to be admitted. My Gynae, Dr Azizah, said that we could try for normal delivery first, if the opening suffice, but we were already getting ready with c-sect delivery as well. For c-sect, I need to have that 8 hr gap after meal, so, the last meal was at 8, so the plan was to pun me in the operating theatre at 4pm. At 3pm, she checked for the opening but it was only 2cm and not progressing. So, c-sect it was. Alhamdulillah.

And apart from Asma..Allah has showered me with so many blessings.

One of them is Ecah managed to get her white coat. Yeay !!! Alhamdulillah. She cried as she had to do a viva on her Pharmacology paper, and on top of that having a slight misunderstanding with her pharmaco lecturer. But, Allah Maha Baik ... she got her white coat and now is doing her 1st year Clinical in Hospital Temerloh. Alhamdulillah.

Wawan, on the other hand, has flown to Coln Germany for his TELC C1 course and insyaAllah, will be pursuing a degree's programme there too. Allahumma barik 

 

And Yaya is blooming well in Semesta despite being a crybaby in the first 2 years. Now she is in Form 3 and Alhamdulillah, she got 1st place in her class during midterm exam and the 2nd place in the whole form. Alhamdulillah

And for Shakir, despite being an almost full-time gamer, he managed to get his 3rd ASHR (Advanced Student Honor Roll) certificate from Kumon. He could have done more if he lessens his screen time. But I must admit that I am at fault too for not being able to 'change' this habot while he was still small. But, I believe he will change one day. InsyaAllah and Alhamdulillah for his achievement.

Now that I have written the blessings - I am so embarrassed that I have been complaining Allah. Astaghfirullah .. have mercy on me ya Allah. Be grateful, be grateful and be grateful. Alwayss

2019-2022 Recap

 It's been 5 years plus since my last update. I forgot about this blog most of the time ... I really do. But today, I googled for Headcount forms, and it brought me to a blog owned by a HC teacher. And, that reminded me of this blog 😜

Feels like writing today because a lot has happened in the past 5 years. To recap everything is impossible but here are some of the important updates that I want to keep.

2019 

After searching high and low, I've decided to buy a house belonging to my GKMP, K.Kelly. Prices of houses in Banting had actually skyrocketed in Banting these last few years because of a new highway, SKVE. Hence, I'm left with very few options. I surveyed a house in Banting Baru priced at 280k, but, it was a bit small and the neighbourhood is not to my liking. Then, I also went to a new housing area near CikNa's house, in Sg Lang. It was geran reserve melayu but the price was so expensive. It was a semiD but very small built area, priced at more than 400K. I thought that would be it until I talked to Cg Ajim and he suggested that I visit K.Kelly's house in Taman Mulia. He said that from what he heard, K.Kelly is selling maybe below 300k. I went there and saw the house. It was an end lot, located next to a small river. K.Kelly had renovated it, adding a kitchen and a room and demolished an existing room to make the living hall bigger. I love it! I love the fact that there are JPS reserve next to the river that can be utilised as parking, or a small garden. So, I approached K.Kelly and she's selling it for 300K. So, I accepted the offer and applied for a loan of 320K as per my lawyer's suggestion and it was approved. Then, we used the remaining balance from the loan to add a kitchen cabinet and also the fence. So here it is ... our 2nd house. But, we are not allowed to move to Taman Mulia and Mak even cried when MDH told her the idea of moving. So, Taman Mulia becomes our weekend house.

This is taken in 2019

2020 

Covid19, MSSM, SPM - early March 2020, we're supposed to go to Baling Kedah for Ecah's last MSSM (she's in form five), but everything halted due to Covid19. So, there's no MSSM Tournament for Ecah so we used the chance to go back to Kelantan for a holiday. Then, when we came home, MCO started. It was a struggle to learn during MCO for the kids, and I felt guilty for letting Wawan solely on his own using his phone for online learning. Yaya n Shakir .... eventho with extra devices, they missed lots of classes 😅

Ecah on the other hand had a blessing in disguise. Due to MCO (Movement Control Order), her SPM was postponed and she got to be home instead of staying in the hostel. Hence, PTTI came into picture and alhamdulillah, she got 7As in her SPM. 

2021 

Ecah enrolled in USIM's Tamhidi Perubatan dan Pergigian. Alhamdulillah. 

Wawan was put in 4ST2 in SMKTD, and his electives were Sains Pertanian, Ekonomi and Perdagangan. I was shocked the moment I received his textbooks because I thought he would be in pure science stream, so, I checked his F3 PAT results and he was in the 15th place, out of 60 students. Curious, I texted my friend who previously taught in SMKBB, and showed her Wawan's F3 PAT results. It seemed that for F4 streaming, the school used F2 PAT results because it was more valid as compared to 2020's online exam. Wawan was at 31st place, hence, he was listed in 4ST2. So, I plead, and Wawan got in 4ST1. And deep inside, I'm thankful that this is part of Allah's plan for him because he promised to do his best in 4ST1 so that he can prove the teachers that he deserved to be in that class.

Yaya's having her UPKK this year and she's a matured girl now. I did not need to struggle anymore, and no more dramas for Sek Agama. I'm thankful and I don't care about UPKK results at all as long as she attended her afternoon school.

Shakir's learned his tricks of skipping afternoon school from Yaya. So, to make sure he went to Sek Agama, I bribed him with food of his likings during lunch. Thankfully it worked. And since he was also in DLP class like Yaya, he was taught by the same Maths teacher. This annoyed Yaya so much because everytime the teacher was angry at Shakir over missing stationeries, missing books, or incomplete homework, Yaya would be the one who got stern remarks from the teacher. The teacher complained that it was useless to scold Shakir since he would sleep while the teacher was giving him an earful.

2022

Ecah called us one day about her choices for the degree program. She already got her Tamhidi (Asasi) results and it was somewhere between 3.75-3.8 (hihi..mind my forgetfulness). I always told her that she had to get 4 flat if she wanted to pursue medic so, with the results, and seeing her strength was in Math and Physics instead of Bio and Chem, she became uncertain. She even asked if she could proceed her studies in engineering, but, since both of us were engineering students, we were against the idea. She had always wanted to be a doctor without borders, so, we thought that she would survive learning the things she's passionate about even though her strength was other subjects. Thankfully, alhamdulillah .. she got what she wanted. She's officially a medic 1st year in USIM with TESP allowances. Alhamdulillah.

As for Wawan, I was thankful that he was made a class monitor by his teacher. The first thing he asked me after being elected was , "Mama, apa Wawan perlu buat untuk menjadi seorang Ketua Kelas yang baik?". Do not frowned ... those were his exact words. He speaks standard Bahasa okeh! hihi. By becoming the class monitor, he learned lots of soft skills and even carried out his task dutifully. His ustazah even complimented him, saying that he changed a lot as compared to when he was in form 3.

Yaya's in standard 6 and is even more matured. It's easier to manage Yaya n Shakir now that they are quite easy to be woken up from sleep. I even memorised Ayat 44, Surah Ghafir so that Allah ease everything for me, and alhamdulillah .... everything feels smooth and easy. For Yaya, I had to fill in her entrance form for MRSM and SBP and made sure she read the Contoh Karangan. I believe she had no trouble with english, but, her penulisan karangan ability is not as good as english. So, polishing her penulisan is a must since PKSK and UKKM requires them to write a karangan.

Pit stop before going back to Banting after Yaya's UKKM

Shakir couldnt be happier because he got his first Kumon medal which means he's already doing a standard 6's syllabus instead of standard 4. And it was actually a nice surprise for us. We didnt really expect him to get that since he was not serious at all about Kumon. Perkuburan Kumon is everywhere in our house. There's kubur Kumon Ecah, Kubur Kumon Wawan, Kubur Kumon Yaya ... and the worst of all.. Kubur Kumon Shakir. His was the worst because he would tear his worksheet to lessen the number of pages. And not only that, he would carelessly put his finished worksheet here and there, and it ended up not being sent to Kumon Center. And to make it worse, when he found the unsent worksheet, he would change the date so that it matched the current date. Banyak cerita betul. 

And, last but not least, Kiki came to our house in the end of February 2022, when we were quarantined for Covid19. She's a really nice cat, a lost kitty which is already toilet-trained by the time she made way to our home. Manja betul...skrg je sombong sikit. Haha!

Fuuh...this is too much for an entry. I'll continue 2023 on the next post because there's a lot to tell about lots and lots for happiness Allah has gifted us throughout the year. 

Kerja Haji

Catatan Haji 1

Alhamdulillah... syukur. Kami selesai menunaikan haji pada musim haji yang lepas, musim haji 2018 (1439H). Kami mendaftar November 2008, dan Alhamdulillah selepas 10 tahun menunggu, kami mendapat panggilan untuk menunaikan haji secara muassasah. Selepas menunaikan umrah pada 2012 yang lalu, kami menghantar surat rayuan saban tahun, dan kami juga mendaftar untuk mengerjakan haji dengan syarikat swasta. Namun, dengan deposit seorang 2k, untuk pakej 25k seorang, kami tidak dipanggil pun untuk haji 2014 kerana queue si syarikat swasta juga panjang. Kalau yang ada kekosongan pun, hanyalah pakej mahal-mahal yang jelasnya, diluar kemampuan kami.

Setelah 2 tahun tidak mendapat tawaran dari sykt swasta, kami terpaksa mengorbankan budget 50k kami untuk perkara lain yang dirasakan sangat perlu, iaitu menambah bilik untuk anak sulung yang semakin menginjak ke usia remaja. Dengan perginya bajet tersebut, saya pasrah, berdoa agar Allah melorongkan kami untuk diterima sebagai jemaah muassasah dalam masa yang terdekat.

2016 dan 2017, walaupun telah menghantar surat rayuan, dan telah mengikuti kursus (walaupun cuma 1 siri ..huhu), kami hampa lagi. Tiada jemputan. Sahabat yang sama2 merayu dengan saya pun dah selamat mengerjakan haji pada tahun 2017 melalui pakej swasta. Oleh itu, untuk tahun 2018, saya mengkaji semula surat rayuan yang perlu saya kemukakan kepada Tabung Haji. Terbaca satu pos (blog maria firdaus kalau tak silap), yang meminta kita menyatakan juga baki didalam akaun Tabung Haji suami dan isteri di dalam surat rayuan. Dan cuba pastikan baki tersebut paling kurang 15k (10k bayaran muassasah dan 5k perbelanjaan disana). Dan, alhamdulillah ... rezeki dari Allah, seminggu berpuasa, kami mendapat panggilan telefon dari Tabung Haji menanyakan sama ada kami ingin menerima atau menolak tawaran mengerjakan haji. Allahuakbar... gembira bukan kepalang. Alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah.

Notis lewat
Kalau diikutkan, ramai jemaah telah menerima tawaran lebih awal, seawal November 2017. Tawaran yang kami terima agak lambat, lebih kurang 60 hari sebelum hari wukuf. Justeru, kami cepat-cepat belajar dari youtube (terutamanya Ustaz Shapawi Che Mat dan beberapa ustaz lagi) dan juga berguru dengan Ustazah Ummi Ngesah yang merupakan pembimbing haji terkenal dari daerah kami, dan telah menjadi pembimbing selama 18 tahun.

Memories .... and I'm stuck to it

Have you ever feel stuck with your own memories? You know that you remembered it, but somehow, some parts of the memories are missing? And, you can't help it but trace everything back so that you will be able to remember every bits of it? Haha, I happen to experience that tonight.

I wanted to survey on the property that I wish to buy using Google's streetview. But then, Wawan came and interrupted my session, saying that he wanted to see Paris' street view. So, there goes my half an hour, watching views around Eiffel Tower with him and Shakir. Then, I thought of showing him Japan, places that he visited when he was just 1.5 yo. But, I got stuck.

"I'm sure it's Shibakoen, Minato does ring a bell, and Hamamatsucho station for JR Line used to be our main transportation hub. But, I couldn't remember the name of our apartment".

I traced our steps from the station, and I remember walking to the nearest 7E using a pedestrian bridge. I managed to trace all the routes that I mention earlier, and even the ground floor of Premier Stage II Shibakoen seems familiar, but the name doesn't. I spent almost 1 hour retracing, and even googled for the images of the rooms, to make sure that I really stayed there some 11 years ago.

Then, thank God I found the word B-Site Shibakoen as I googled for the images. You know what, it was known as B-Site Shibakoen until 2010, which was then changed to Premier Stage II. Aiyo...

Haih... I have a lot of things to do, yet, I've been doing nonsense. Perhaps, I'm actually missing those days. Those beautiful 2 weeks spent in Japan

Disneyland sampai lembik

Three Hundred Years Pine Tree @ Hamarikyu

Shibarikyu .. notice baju ecah sama? Haha..zaman tu mmg taram je

Dengan Uncle and Auntie yang sgt baik di Yokohama

Hakone

Another chapter

It's been a long time, such a long time that i hv even forgotten about this blog. But, since I'll be going for my Hajj (pilgrimage) soon, then why dont I update this blog. At least, this will be where my catatan is. I used to jot down my feelings here, before I then moved on to facebook, where most of my friends are. But now, as I'm approaching 40 years of age, I feel FB is not for me to write down all my thoughts. Some might interpret my thoughts differently. So, at least here, ni one really knows about it's existence. A few friends from TPG used to visit this blog. But not anymore. Hihi..that's good.

Many things happen since my last post. I have 4 children now, the eldest is 15 and the youngest is 6. All of them are my angels, unique in their own way. The eldest is now bearing the meaning of her name - Najihah (berjaya). She succeed in many ways. Back in 2015, she scored straight As in jer UPSR, Mumtaz in PSRA, got a few medals in MSSM, and represented Selangor in Archery for Sukma 2016. This year, she's going to be in Sukma 2018, and at the same time will be sitting for PT3 a month after sukma. Pity her, her schedule has always been hectic since she started archery. She even complains about mental torture for 'budak manah' from teachers who dislike athletes. I told her ..just be calm because we wont be able to change other people's perspective by using only words. Show them your capabilities..and that, insyaAllah will do.

Wawan got 2As and 4Bs despite being labelled as 'sentiasa berada dalam dunianya sendiri'. Alhamdulilllah.Alhamdulillah ..... syukur ya Allah. I never expect that from him. He is now in TD, crazy about so many games in Nintendo Switch, and have never been happier because there's no more sekolah petang.

Yaya on the other hand, is still a crybaby. I still have to persuade her to go to sekolah petang. She even told me that ustazah tak mengajar pun mama. Then, I threathen her.. "Really? If ustazah x ajar, then Mama kena report polis (kah3x...tak baik tipu)". Then, she would admit that, "Ustazah ajar tapi sikit". Haih...Yaya..yaya.

Shakir has a different story. He's growing up so fast. He can read now, because Papa drills him to read all three books for almost every night before he gets to play Switch. So, memang baca la Read Easy, Bacalah Anakku and Iqra'. He refused to read it with me before because i didnt offer him any rewards. Sabo jelah. And he's crazy about a youtuber named DanTDM. This DanTDM guy is an adult, i think he's already 20+ of age. In his channel, there are variety if game reviews, and that's the main reason Shakir loves him. He loves games as much as abang. Last week, Shakir asked me,
"Mama, mama tahu tak VIP tu apa?"
"Of course! VIP stands for Very Important Person", I told him proudly because I think he wouldn"t figure out what does VIP stands for.
"Not Mama (yes...he loves to say not instead of no), VIP means banyak duit"
Hahahaha... and I had to nod profusely. Bijaknya anak.
"Macam mana Shakir tau VIP byk duit?"
"Ni...dlm game ni..." (Adeh... geleng kepala mama).

Allahurabbi... berkati anak2 kesayangan hambaMu ini. Jadikan mereka anak2 yang soleh beriman yang berjaya di dunia dan akhirat..Amiinnnn

Blogwalking and..hope

Alhamdulillah... my milk production for today is 28.5 oz. Yay!! That's 1.5 oz increase after getting 26.5 oz for three consecutive days. Alhamdulillah. Allah has grant my wish. Allah memberi ilham supaya aku masak lobak putih yang aku beli since last week. Hehe. Alhamdulillah.

Ok, that's not the story that I want to write today. I just finished pumping for today and while pumping, I did some blogwalking. And from blogwalking, I knew there are still hope that Shakir will be able to fill his hungry stomach thru direct-feeding. These days, he did latch on. But, it lasted for 5 minutes....max. Then, he would let go my B, resulting in mommy giving up in trying to get him to the B one more time. Ya Allah... berilah aku kesabaran. Kena banyak berdoa dan bersabar. Remember .. Allah is the best of all planners.

My fourth breastfeeding journey

Alhamdulillah... I'm still expressing my milk for my baby Shakir@52 days old. Alhamdulillah ... because he no longer needs the help from formula milk since he's at 41-days-old. Alhamdulillah.. that I managed to pump a constant figure between 26-28 oz per day. And Alhamduillah ... that I even managed to get my EBM stock in the freezer (a lifetime achievement! never managed to do it before! (",)v.

Muhammad Shakir Azhad @ 1 month old

My fourth journey here didn't start out well. I've planned to start expressing one week before my EDD because I want to stimulate my B, so that as soon as I delivered, I will have milk for my baby (learnt from previous experience). However, Allah is the best of all planners. I've delivered Shakir 10 days earlier than my EDD. So, as expected, no colostrum until Shakir is 4 days old. So, by that time, Shakir has already consumed FM. And yes... I gave him my B, but, after a minute or two, he would be furious. I got sore nipples at the end.

So, this means that he's already developed nipple confusion. Aiyaaa.... not again! Hence, whether I like it or not... I have to express regularly, every three-four hours to create demand for milk (breastmilk is based on supply-and-demand). And, after feeding, I tried to make him latched on my B. He did try...but my baby is still learning. He had poor latching technique, and I myself find it hard to force the aerola into his mouth. So, the result is, he didn't get the milk which made him furious, and I got cracked sore nipps. It was bleeding, and there were times when my expressed milk turn to 'peach' colour instead of 'off white'. There's blood in my milk. Hmmm....

Shakir's sleeping beside my 9-years-old Medela Pump-In-Style. This picture was taken in the wee hours of the norning while I'm doing my pumping routine.

Therefore, I've decided to wait until he's a little bit older like Aisyah (start nursing at the age of 2-months). But, at the same time, I've mentally prepared myself to be an EP-mom (exclusive pumping mom). Yes, who knows... he would still reject my B in the future even at 4 months old like Nadya. So, I did a lot of reading on EP mom's blogs.. and even this article from Kellymom which helps a lot. So, ganbatte ne! I did pumping religiously and here's the result:

End of week-1 : 4.5 oz per day (had to top up with FM)
End of week-2 : 14.5 oz per day (had to top up with FM)
End of week-3 : 17.5 oz per day (had to top up with FM)
End of week-4 : 20 oz per day (had to top up with FM)
End of week-5 : 24 oz per day (had to top up with FM but vey minimum, 2 oz at most)
End of week-6 : 27 oz per day (no FM)
End of week-7 : 27 oz per day (no FM)

Some people consider this as 'Liquid Gold'. Why...? Because it's very precious.

Alhamdulillah.. and I'm really praying to Allah that this journey will continue until baby Shakir is 24 months old, insyaAllah. This time, I have the highest motivation as compared to the other three. During my previous journey, I only knew that it was stated in the quran, but, I never bothered to look at which sentence is it. I was ignorant. Memang jahil. So, this time, aku ikhlas ingin menyusukan anak kerana Allah, bukan kerana permintaan suami semata-mata, because it is mentioned in Quran twice.  One is in surah Al-Baqarah  ayat 233 (2:233)

Dan ibu-ibu hendaklah menyusukan anak-anak mereka selama dua tahun genap iaitu bagi orang yang hendak menyempurnakan penyusuan itu; dan kewajipan bapa pula ialah memberi makan dan pakaian kepada ibu itu menurut cara yang sepatutnya. Tidaklah diberatkan seseorang melainkan menurut kemampuannya. Janganlah menjadikan seseorang ibu itu menderita kerana anaknya, dan (jangan juga menjadikan) seseorang bapa itu menderita kerana anaknya; dan waris juga menanggung kewajipan yang tersebut (jika si bapa tiada). kemudian jika keduanya (suami isteri mahu menghentikan penyusuan itu dengan persetujuan (yang telah dicapai oleh) mereka sesudah berunding, maka mereka berdua tidaklah salah (melakukannya). Dan jika kamu hendak beri anak-anak kamu menyusu kepada orang lain, maka tidak ada salahnya bagi kamu apabila kamu serahkan (upah) yang kamu mahu beri itu dengan cara yang patut. Dan bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah, serta ketahuilah, sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa melihat akan apa jua yang kamu lakukan.

 And Al-Ahkaf ayat 15 (46:15)

Dan Kami wajibkan manusia berbuat baik kepada kedua ibu bapanya; ibunya telah mengandungnya dengan menanggung susah payah dan telah melahirkannya dengan menanggung susah payah. Sedang tempoh mengandungnya beserta dengan tempoh menceraikan susunya ialah dalam masa tiga puluh bulanS. Setelah ia besar sampai ke peringkat dewasa yang sempurna kekuatannya dan sampai ke peringkat umur empat puluh tahun, berdoalah ia dengan berkata: "Wahai Tuhanku, ilhamkanlah daku supaya tetap bersyukur akan nikmatmu yang engkau kurniakan kepadaku dan kepada ibu bapaku, dan supaya aku tetap mengerjakan amal soleh yang Engkau redai; dan jadikanlah sifat-sifat kebaikan meresap masuk ke dalam jiwa zuriat keturunanku. Sesungguhnya aku bertaubat kepadamu, dan sesungguhnya aku dari orang-orang Islam (yang tunduk patuh kepadamu)".

So, I'm highly motivated to do this, because not only that I will get rewards from Allah for following His qalamullah..I get my husband's blessings,  I also get healthier baby and it is cost-saving. That's 4-in-one huh? So, if I'm destined to be Ep-mom... then, EP-mom it is. Takpe. Ganbatte!

So, in order to make this journey a successful one.. there're many things to do to boost your milk supply/to ensure you milk is sufficient for your baby. Direct-breastfeeding mothers don't have to worry about milk supply, but, for EP-moms...that's the greatest concern/problem because babies who are bottle-fed tend to require more milk since there's continuous and easy milk flow from the bottle. . One- pray to Allah s.w.t. The following are the dua's that you can make ...

1. Al-Baqarah aayah 60 (2:60)

And (remember) when Mûsa (Moses) asked for water for his people, We said: "Strike the stone with your stick." Then gushed forth therefrom twelve springs. Each (group of) people knew its own place for water. "Eat and drink of that which Allâh has provided and do not act corruptly, making mischief on the earth." 

2. Recite one of Asma'ul Husna which is YA MATIN (The Firm One) 70 times a day.

Number two... get help from galactagogues. These are the galactagogues that I've used and I think works for me. From food :

1. Dried longan + red dates drink
2. Soy milk
3. white radish soup
4. oatmeal
5. unripe papaya (made into soup)

And I also get help from pills ...
1. Pil ASI (fenugreek's base)
2. Moringa pill (based on Moringa leaves)
3. Alfalfa

Notice the Motillium pills there? That one is given by my gynae and will be needed during under emergency times only. Hehe

Let me remind you, during my third BF journey, I only took Alfalfa and at that time, I think my production got stagnant after I got 15 oz per day on week-4. Then, upon seeing the amount was not increasing and I still had to top up with FM, my motivation level went down, so did my production level. So, this time, I'm taking various kind of galactagogues so that when it become stagnant, I will change the dose/galactagogues used. I believe that this style suits me because I managed to put aside FM now. My baby is now on full EBM. :)

Number three ... make sure you have an expressing schedule. And note down the amount you get after each pumping session. So, you will know whether your supply is increasing/decreasing. And, if you notice any extreme changes in the difference, you will be able to find out what causes it.

An example of my pumping schedule

Phew... that's a long one. And I've done this on and between two pumping sessions. I need this to motivated myself. InsyaAllah... I can do this (",)v

My third breastfeeding journey

Nadya @ 2 months-old

My third baby, Nadya, was born five years after we had his brother Syazwan. She's the first baby I had working as a teacher. And being a teacher while carrying her in my womb, teaching in SMK Telok Panglima Garang some more, I would be furious over the smallest matters. At that time, I was teaching 3KRK2, 3D, 3G, 3K and 3P. That was classes ranking from number 3, 8, 11, 15 and 17 (this is the last class). Phew!! No wonder-laa I was so garang (fierce) back then. Some naughty students from 3K and 3P would came in and out of the class whenever they please. Haish... apalagi, teacher pun cubit la diorang. I was so much into action at that time because yelling rarely gave an impact, unless you yell at the top of your lungs, but it was tiring of course!

On her Akikah cum Cukur Jambul Day@20 days old

So..tadaa..the result is, I get I very 'fierce' baby. Nadya would throw tantrums everytime she didn't get the things that she wanted. She would even pinch and bite everyone including me. And her tantrums is getting worse as soon as I delivered Baby Shakir. On top of that, she would just irritate me by unplugging/dismantling the wires of my Pump-In-Style while I was expressing my milk for Shakir. Duh! this kid is always testing my patience limit. So, mothers...be reminded not to be too fierce while u're pregnant, ok?

Nadya, as I've mentioned in one of my entries before, only managed to drink my EBM until she's four-months old. Pity her because I gave up expressing milk way earlier than I should. Reason being is lack of knowledge and stress. One, I didn't know that exclusively pumping-mom exists until I stumbled upon some EP (exclusively pumping) moms' blogs recently. At that time, I never thought that expressing throughout the two-years duration is possible. I expect that Nadya would latch when she turned 2-months-old like Aisyah, so expressing milk will only be part-time. Direct feed is not as tiring and stressful as expressing. After four months of waiting.. I gave up. I was also stressful at that time because ten days after I delivered Nadya, Syazwan broke his leg. Haii... macam-macam hal.

As a result, despite being the prettiest, Nadya had always been seeing Dr Selva, our paed, because of asthmatic symptoms. So, that adds to the guilt. Sedihnya.....

I'm sorry Nadya sayang...

My second breastfeeding journey

Today, Shakir is 49-days-old. And I'm still an exclusive pumping mother. He would latch at times, but mostly for comfort, not to fill him up. How I wish he would be able to latch on...hmmm.

Ok, enough abt Shakir. I'll save that for "My fourth bf journey". My second BF journey, on the contrary to the first one, is very easy. Muhammad Syazwan latched on the day he was born and had no problem afterwards. But, (haish...why there must be a 'but' eh?), I was called to report to IPTeknik for my KPLI programme 21 days postpartum. Yup, we decided that I should take a career change when I was expecting my second baby. At that time, I was an engineer mother, and having to spend 12 hours outside our home for work was not tempting anymore. Our babysitter always told us that by 6 p.m. Aisyah would stare at her front door and ran towards it whenever she heard 'Assalamualaikum'. And she was upset to find that it was not us. At that time, I  only came home at 7-7.30 p.m. Upon arriving home, we would be occupied to pray, eat, bathe and sleep. So, how much time is left for our lil' Aisyah?On top of that, MDH's new scope of work is he had to be out stationed a lot. So, we decided that I should resign my post as an engineer and became a teacher, in order to be able to spend more time with my kids. So, I went for my KPLI and had to left Syazwan to my husband and Emak for one week because of orientation programme. Thus, he was on formula milk. I was so sad back then, but decided that I have to be strong for our better future. I brought my PIS to college and expressed my milk eventhough I knew the EBM (Expressed Breast Milk) went straight to the drain afterwards (no place to store them). That's a must to maintain my milk supply. But, miraculously, after that one week, he still wanted to latch on like he used to be before that one-week separation period. Alhamdulillah.

So, there goes my second BF journey. Latching on went smoothly, but, since I was studying, I don't have time to express due to the packed schedule. So, when I was in college during daytime (7am - 2pm), Syazwan will be on FM and on the rest of the day, I will breastfeed him. That went on and on until he was 20 months ++. I had to wean him because of his teeth (he loved biting my B, urghh!)

So, in a nutshell... I was quite satisfied eventhough I had to mix with FM.

 Ok, since I'm writing abt my BF journey with Syazwan, today (06 Nov 2012) he receives his first academic excellence award on Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan S.K. Methodist. This is what I call from zero to hero (he started in Standard One January this year as an illiterate kid because he still couldn't read after spending three years in kindy and we even suspected him of being dyslexic). Tahniah Muhammad Syazwan and I'm really proud of you. ^_^

 

Syazwan on the stage for the second time for 'Terbaik MP'. I couldn't get the picture when it is his first time on stage with Dato' Shafie Salleh because I had to sit at the back.

Showing his prize

Nadya's expressions while waiting for Abang