-Syazwan tunjuk gigi-

Semalam masa breastfeed Syazwan, aku terjerit sbb kena gigit ngan budak kecik ni. Tengah gatal gusi kata org tua-tua. Orang muda kata, tengah nak test power gigi dia tu. Mana taknya, lepas tengok aku jerit sbb kena gigit, dia boleh gelak tgk aku. Mulanya ingat tak nak marah dia, tapi, dah selalu sangat aku jadik mangsa gigi dia ni, sampai berdarah-darah pun ada. So, dengan tekadnya, aku marah Syazwan, dengan harapan dia pun akan sedar kesilapan dia seperti yang aku pernah praktikkan dekat kakak dia dulu. So, apalagi, menangis laa si syazwan ni sbb kena marah ngan aku. Tapi, rupanya ada orang tengah perhatikan scene ni. Aisyah tetiba jer enter frame and cakap dengan muka sedihnya "Mama janganla marah baby. Shian baby kena marah, dahlah Papa dia takde". Mak aii..pandainya makcik ni. Siap buat muka nak nangis tu.. terus aku rasa bersalah gila. Tak pasal2 aku kena pujuk dedua orang lepas tu.

-We miss you Papa....mmuaahhhhhhhhhhhssss-

Raya '06

Abah kata dia nampak muka anak-anak aku lain sikit the moment we arrive kat rumah abah to celebrate raya. "Takde Papa dia ni, lain sikit laa muka diorang ni. Happy tapi, kurang bercahaya.." Hmm.. Ye ker? I never notice that? Maybe gak? Sedih aku dengar statement abah tu, tapi, nak buat cemana. Nak cari rezeki lebih, kena laa outstation jauh-jauh kan, sayang? Dah laa Aisyah jenis yang 'pendam dalam'. Takde complaint verbally, but, deep down, i think she missed her papa a lot. Kengkadang, she would recall things that she did with her papa. Like recently, she mentioned about feeding monkeys at the Zoo with Papa, and that was on January 05. She was only 1 yr and 3 months old at that time. I never thot that she could memorize things at that age.

Syazwan pulak, ok jer. As long as dia kenyang, he will be fine. Cuma, masa balik kelantan ari tu, dia demam. So, everyone "especially mom" was saying that Syazwan demam because he missed his father. Pastuh, repeatedly cakap "kesian ejul raya sorang-sorang". Aku tak tau nape aku rasa mcm aku dipersalahkan when Ma utter those words? Nape hah? Pastuh, mula lah aku rasa mcm tension sbb rasa dipersalahkan. Padahalnya.... tak de pape pun.

What about me? Hmm... What did I feel about this whole thing? I must be crazy if I didn't feel anything. I MISS HIM A LOT!!! Tapi, sibukkan diri untuk buat persiapan raya, sampaikan, sempat beraya 3 rumah je raya pertama tu. Pastuh, terus tertido sebab demam dan pening kepala ..